Confucius asked Gongming Jia about Gongshu Wenzi, saying, “Is it true that your master never speaks, never laughs, and never takes anything?”
Gongming Jia replied, “The person who told you that exaggerated. In fact, my master speaks only when the time is right – so people do not dislike his words; he laughs only when genuinely joyful – so people do not dislike his laughter; he takes only what is righteous – so people do not dislike his taking.”
Confucius then said, “Is that so? Could it really be so?”
Note
This dialogue from the Analects of Confucius reveals the Confucian understanding of appropriateness in conduct: the true noble person does not suppress speech, emotion, or action, but acts in accordance with timeliness, sincerity, and righteousness – achieving perfect balance.
The rumor portrayed Gongshu Wenzi as an ascetic who never spoke, laughed, or took anything – a rigid and joyless figure. Gongming Jia corrects this: his master’s restraint was not absence, but discernment – he expressed himself only at the proper moment, from genuine feeling, and in line with moral principle.
“Speaking only when the time is right,” “laughing only when truly joyful,” and “taking only what is righteous” address three fundamental aspects of human life: speech, emotion, and material gain. Together, they embody the Confucian ideals of the Doctrine of the Mean (zhong yong) and “restraining oneself to return to ritual propriety”: neither indulgence nor hypocrisy, but warmth tempered by principle.
Confucius’s rhetorical question – “Is that so? Could it really be so?” – is not disbelief, but an expression of awe mixed with cautious admiration. He implies that if someone truly lived this way, it would represent a sage-like harmony between inner virtue and outer conduct – rarely attainable by ordinary people.
This passage emphasizes that the highest moral cultivation is not external suppression, but the natural alignment of spontaneous action with ethical discernment. True “non-annoyance” comes from “appropriateness”; true “restraint” arises from the “Middle Way.”
Further Reading
Yan Hui asked about benevolence. The Master said, “To restrain oneself and return to ritual propriety is benevolence. If one day you achieve this, the whole world will turn to benevolence.” Analects 12.1 (Yan Yuan)
Both stress that ethical conduct stems from inner discipline aligned with ritual/propriety – not mere external conformity.
Ziqin asked Zigong, “Whenever the Master arrives in a state, he always learns about its governance…” Zigong replied, “He gains it through warmth, goodness, respectfulness, modesty, and yielding.” Analects 1.10 (Xue Er)
Illustrates how virtuous demeanor – like speaking only when appropriate – naturally earns trust without force or intrusion.
子問公叔文子於公明賈曰：「信乎夫子不言、不笑、不取乎？」公明賈對曰：「以告者過也。夫子時然後言，人不厭其言；樂然後笑，人不厭其笑；義然後取，人不厭其取。」子曰：「其然，豈其然乎？」
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