When Duke Ding of Teng died, the crown prince (later Duke Wen of Teng) said to his minister Ran You:
“Years ago, Mencius taught me in Song, and his words have stayed with me ever since.
Now I am so unfortunate as to have lost my father, I would like you to go and consult him how to conduct the funeral.”
Ran You went to Zou (Mencius’s home state) to ask for guidance.
Mencius replied:
“Is he not a good son! In mourning one’s parents, one must give full expression to one’s inner sincerity.
I haven’t formally studied the funeral rites specific for feudal lords, but I have heard this: the three-year mourning period – with coarse hempen garments and congee for food – is practiced by everyone, from the Son of Heaven down to commoners, and has been so since the Xia, Shang, and Zhou dynasties.”
Ran You returned and reported this. The prince decided to observe the three-year mourning.
But the royal clan elders and officials objected:
“Our ancestral state Lu never practiced this, nor did our own former rulers.
To reverse tradition in your generation is unacceptable. Besides, an old saying goes: ‘In mourning and sacrifice, follow the ancestors.’”
The prince then told Ran You:
“In the past, I never devoted myself to learning – only fond of horsemanship and fencing. Now my uncles and ministers doubt my ability to handle this great matter properly.
Please go ask Mencius once more.”
Ran You went to Zou again to consult Mencius.
Mencius said:
“I knew it would be so! But the solution of this problem is not to be sought elsewhere.
Confucius said:
‘When a ruler dies, governance is entrusted to the Chief Minister. The heir drinks only gruel, his face darkened by grief. Upon ascending the throne, he weeps – and all officials dare not fail to mourn, because he leads them.’
When those above (of high rank) love something, those below will follow even more fervently.
As Confucius said:
‘The virtue of the noble person is like the wind; the virtue of the common people is like grass. When the wind blows, the grass must bend.’
It all rests with you, the crown prince.”
Ran You conveyed this. The prince said:
“Indeed! This truly depends on me.”
He then lived in a mourning hut for five months without issuing any decrees. Clan members and officials were deeply moved, calling him “truly understanding of ritual.”
At the burial, envoys came from all directions to observe. Seeing the prince’s profound sorrow in his expression and the sincerity of his weeping, the mourners were quite satisfied with the funeral rites.
滕定公薨。世子謂然友曰：「昔者孟子嘗與我言於宋，於心終不忘。今也不幸至於大故，吾欲使子問於孟子，然後行事。」
然友之鄒問於孟子。孟子曰：「不亦善乎！親喪固所自盡也。曾子曰：『生事之以禮；死葬之以禮，祭之以禮，可謂孝矣。』諸侯之禮，吾未之學也；雖然，吾嘗聞之矣。三年之喪，齊疏之服，飦粥之食，自天子達於庶人，三代共之。」
然友反命，定為三年之喪。父兄百官皆不欲，曰：「吾宗國魯先君莫之行，吾先君亦莫之行也，至於子之身而反之，不可。且志曰：『喪祭從先祖。』」曰：「吾有所受之也。」謂然友曰：「吾他日未嘗學問，好馳馬試劍。今也父兄百官不我足也，恐其不能盡於大事，子為我問孟子。」
然友復之鄒問孟子。孟子曰：「然。不可以他求者也。孔子曰：『君薨，聽於冢宰。歠粥，面深墨。即位而哭，百官有司，莫敢不哀，先之也。』上有好者，下必有甚焉者矣。『君子之德，風也；小人之德，草也。草尚之風必偃。』是在世子。」
然友反命。世子曰：「然。是誠在我。」五月居廬，未有命戒。百官族人可謂曰知。及至葬，四方來觀之，顏色之戚，哭泣之哀，弔者大悅。
Note
This passage from Mencius: Teng Wen Gong I illustrates core Confucian principles regarding ritual, filial piety, moral leadership, and ethical influence.
Three-Year Mourning as embodied filial piety
Mencius presents the three-year mourning not as rigid formalism but as the natural expression of a child’s enduring gratitude. Its universality across social classes underscores that true ritual arises from inner feeling, not status.
“Follow ancestors” vs. “Ritual rooted in righteousness”
While traditionalists cite precedent (“follow the ancestors”), Mencius aligns with Confucius’s view that ritual must be animated by genuine emotion. True fidelity to ancestors lies in capturing their spirit – not copying their forms.
“The noble person’s virtue is like the wind”
Mencius emphasizes that political order flows from moral example. If the ruler embodies sincere grief, the people will naturally follow. Governance begins not with laws, but with character.
Duke Wen’s Transformation
Once a man of arms, the prince now prioritizes moral duty over power. His five-month withdrawal from governance demonstrates that filial devotion takes precedence over statecraft – a radical inversion of realpolitik.
Historical Significance: A small state as moral beacon
By implementing the three-year mourning against elite opposition, Teng became a rare exemplar of Confucian virtue in the Warring States era. This proved that ethical governance was not utopian but practically achievable, even in a minor state.
Ultimately, this episode teaches that true authority stems not from command, but from the quiet power of authentic virtue.
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