The Analects – Chapter 13.28

Zilu asked, “What must one be like to be called a ‘shi’ (a morally cultivated scholar or gentleman)?”
The Master said, “One who is earnest and mutually encouraging, yet also gentle and harmonious at home—such a person may be called a shi. Specifically, friends should be earnest and supportive of each other; brothers should be affectionate and harmonious.”

Note

This passage from the Analects of Confucius defines the character of the ‘shi’ (scholar-official) through two fundamental human relationships: friendship and brotherhood—reflecting Confucianism’s emphasis on moral practice in everyday life.

• “Earnest and mutually encouraging” describes how friends should engage with sincerity, offering constructive criticism and mutual moral support. This is not superficial politeness but deep care grounded in shared commitment to the Way (Dao), embodying the ideal of “gathering friends through culture and supporting benevolence through friendship.”
• “Affectionate and harmonious” portrays the warm, peaceful rapport among brothers, highlighting the emotional bonds and orderly harmony central to family ethics.

Confucius thus locates the standard of the ‘shi’ (scholar-official) within concrete relational roles: a true scholar-official not only holds lofty ideals but actively practices benevolence in daily interactions—upholding righteousness with friends and nurturing love within the family. This integration of inner virtue and outward conduct, of reason and emotion, forms the foundation of the Confucian path from “self-cultivation” to “ordering the family” and beyond. The passage also implies that the mark of a true shi lies not in grand speeches, but in the ability to foster sincerity and harmony in the closest human relationships.

Further Reading

Zigong asked, “What must one be like to be called a shi?” The Master said, “One who acts with a sense of shame and fulfills missions abroad without disgracing his ruler—such a person may be called a shi.” Analects 13.20 (Zi Lu)

Offers another tiered view of the ‘shi’ (scholar-official or a morally cultivated gentleman), showing that Confucius defines the ideal differently based on context—here emphasizing public duty, while chapter 13.28 focuses on private relationships.

The Master said: “A gentleman gathers friends through culture and learning, and cultivates benevolence with the aid of friends.” Analects 12.24 (Yan Yuan)

A gentleman forms friendships not for petty self-interest, but based on shared pursuit of cultural knowledge, moral principles and the Dao (the way of virtue). Such friendships are rooted in common noble aspirations, not superficial connections. Meanwhile, a gentleman relies on like-minded friends to encourage moral progress, correct ethical flaws, and uphold virtuous conduct together.

子路問曰：「何如斯可謂之士矣？」子曰：「切切、偲偲、怡怡如也，可謂士矣。朋友切切、偲偲，兄弟怡怡。」