After Yan Hui died, Confucius’s disciples wanted to give him an elaborate funeral. The Master said, “You must not do that.” Nevertheless, they gave him a lavish burial. Confucius then said, “Hui regarded me as a father, yet I was not allowed to treat him as a son. It was not my doing – it was those few disciples.”
Note
This passage from the Analects of Confucius reveals the profound tension Confucius navigates between genuine emotion and ritual propriety. Although Yan Hui was not his biological son, their bond was as close as father and son. Yet Confucius opposed an extravagant funeral – not out of indifference, but because it violated li: Yan Hui held no official rank and came from a poor family, so according to Zhou ritual norms, his burial should be modest. The disciples’ well-intentioned act, though motivated by love and respect, overstepped ritual boundaries – substituting personal sentiment for established ethical order. Confucius valued Yan Hui’s virtue deeply, but he valued the integrity of ritual even more. Unable to stop his disciples, he expressed sorrowful resignation: he could not fulfill his role as a “father” in accordance with proper rites. This statement conveys both heartfelt grief and regret over the breach of ritual, while reaffirming a core Confucian principle: emotional expression must be regulated by ritual; private affection must not override public moral standards. By attributing the act to “those few disciples,” Confucius does not evade responsibility but clarifies that he upheld principle to the end – highlighting his pedagogical stance of “guiding emotion through ritual.”
Further Reading
When Yan Hui died, Yan Lu asked for Confucius’s carriage to make an outer coffin. Confucius said, “When Li died, he had a coffin but no outer coffin… As one who follows among the high officials, I cannot go on foot.” Analects 11.8 (Xian Jin)
Both show Confucius refusing special funeral arrangements for Yan Hui based on ritual consistency – even when emotionally painful.
The Master said, “In rites, frugality is better than extravagance; in mourning, genuine sorrow is better than ease.” Analects 3.4 (Ba Yi)
Emphasizes inner sincerity over external display – Confucius prefers simple but heartfelt mourning, opposing lavish rituals that lack propriety.
顏淵死，門人欲厚葬之，子曰：「不可。」門人厚葬之。子曰：「回也視予猶父也，予不得視猶子也。非我也，夫二三子也。」
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