7.9
If at a meal the Master found himself seated next to someone who was in mourning, he did not eat his fill.
子食於有喪者之側，未嘗飽也。
Notes
With fewer words, this passage from the Analects reveals Confucius’ profound empathy for others’ grief and his natural embodiment of ritual propriety. It demonstrates the Confucian unity of ritual and humaneness (benevolence) — showing that true ritual is not external formality, but the natural expression of inner compassionate heart.
Authentic ritual manifests as the natural outward flow of inner compassion and empathy; subtle acts of personal restraint constitute the deepest respect for others. Confucius’ “not eating his fill” was not self-punishment, but tenderness toward others: in the simplest way, he teaches us that the core of human interaction lies not in technique, but in “treating others as you would wish to be treated” — the golden rule embodied.
“On a day when I have wept at a funeral, I do not sing.”(Analects 7.10)
On a day when Confucius cried while mourning the deceased, he would not sing songs. This was because the lingering sorrow remained in his heart, and he intended to maintain a solemn state of mind.
Together with the maxim “never eating one’s fill when dining beside a mourner”, this practice falls under the category of behavioral restraint during funerals. Both are rooted in empathy, expressing respect for the bereaved by refraining from amusement or practicing moderation in eating.
“When the Master saw someone wearing mourning garments, someone dressed in official robes and a coronet, or a blind person, he would always rise to his feet to show respect, even if the person was young; when passing by them, he would quicken his pace.”(Analects 9.10)
This physical etiquette echoes the empathy displayed during funerals, aligning with the behavioral logic of “never eating one’s fill when dining beside a mourner” – external conduct is the natural expression of inner compassion, demonstrating respect for people in different circumstances.
“During mourning, even delicious food tastes bland, music fails to bring joy, and one finds no comfort in one’s abode. That is why I do not pursue ease and comfort [during this period].”(Analects 17.21)
During the mourning period, fine food lacks flavor, music brings no delight, and living quarters feel unpeaceful. For this reason, one should not seek comfort and ease.
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