The Master said, “While a man’s father is alive, you can only see his intentions; it is when his father dies that you discover whether or not he is capable of carrying them out. If for the whole three years of mourning he manages to carry on the household exactly as in his father’s day, then he is a good son indeed.”
子曰：「父在，觀其志；父沒，觀其行；三年無改於父之道，可謂孝矣。」
Notes
This passage from the Analects tell us that during a father’s lifetime, children’s conduct should be guided by his constraints. Here, filial piety centers on internalizing his sound guidance (e.g., family values, moral principles) rather than superficial compliance.
After a father’s passing, constraints diminish. Filial piety then manifests as ‘embodied inheritance’ — translating his principled ideals into action (e.g., sustaining thrift and integrity).
Crucially, tradition (whether paternal or societal) should neither be blindly rejected nor rigidly preserved. One must discern its essence, separating timeless wisdom from outdated elements.
Confucius’ words advocate an attitude of ‘reverent preservation yet prudent reform’ — honoring forebears while responsibly stewarding family and society.
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