In the state of Qi, there was a man who lived with one wife and one concubine. Every time he went out, he always returned home full of wine and meat. His wife asked him, “Who did you eat and drink with?” He always replied, “All wealthy and noble people.”
His wife grew suspicious: “No distinguished guests have ever come to our house!” So she told the concubine, “Our husband claims he dines with the rich and powerful, yet we’ve never seen any such visitors. I’ll secretly follow him and see where he really goes.”
Early the next morning, she trailed him through the entire city – but no one even stopped to speak with him. Finally, he went to the graves outside the eastern gate, begging leftover offerings from those performing ancestral sacrifices. When that wasn’t enough, he turned and begged elsewhere. This was how he “feasted” himself!
She returned home and told the concubine, “A husband is someone we look up to for life – but now, this is what he’s become!” The two women mocked their husband and wept together in the courtyard.
Meanwhile, the husband knew nothing of this. He swaggered in from outside, proudly showing off before his wife and concubine.
Mencius commented:
“From the perspective of a true gentleman, among those who seek wealth, status, and success through dishonorable means, it is extremely rare that their wives and concubines – once they learn the truth – do not feel ashamed and weep.”
齊人有一妻一妾而處室者，其良人出，則必饜酒肉而後反。其妻問所與飲食者，則盡富貴也。其妻告其妾曰：「良人出，則必饜酒肉而後反；問其與飲食者，盡富貴也，而未嘗有顯者來，吾將瞷良人之所之也。」
蚤起，施從良人之所之，遍國中無與立談者。卒之東郭墦閒，之祭者，乞其餘；不足，又顧而之他，此其為饜足之道也。其妻歸，告其妾曰：「良人者，所仰望而終身也。今若此。」與其妾訕其良人，而相泣於中庭。而良人未之知也，施施從外來，驕其妻妾。
由君子觀之，則人之所以求富貴利達者，其妻妾不羞也，而不相泣者，幾希矣。
Note
This parable from Mencius: Li Lou II is a masterful blend of literary storytelling and moral critique, exposing the hypocrisy, moral degradation, and alienation inherent in the pursuit of ill-gotten success.
Many pursue fame and fortune through flattery, deceit, or dependence on the powerful. They appear glorious on the outside but are deeply degraded within. If their loved ones knew the truth, they would be filled with shame – this is Mencius’s sharp satire of hollow ambition.
Public vs. Private Morality
On the surface, it’s a domestic scandal; in reality, it mirrors the conduct of Warring States strategists and rhetoricians who sought office by flattering rulers or begging favors – living off the “leftovers” of power.
The wife and concubine symbolize uncorrupted moral intuition; their tears mark the collapse of trust in a husband whose public persona masks private shame.
The irony of “Feasting”
The man’s “fullness” comes not from genuine hospitality but from scavenging sacrificial scraps – a biting metaphor for those who mistake dependency for dignity. His claim of dining with “the rich and noble” is pure illusion, critiquing the era’s obsession with external validation over inner worth.
The wife and concubine as moral witnesses
Their shame and tears represent the voice of conscience. In Confucian ethics, family is the first test of integrity: if those closest to you cannot respect your means of success, that success is morally bankrupt.
The “Gentleman’s View”
Mencius judges not by social status but by righteousness. This aligns with Confucius’s teaching:
“Wealth and rank acquired unjustly are to me like floating clouds” (Analects 7.16)
And Mencius’s own principle:
“In poverty, do not lose righteousness; in success, do not depart from the Way” (Jinxin I).
Ethics of Warring States Strategists
During the Warring States period, many intellectuals – like the famous persuaders Su Qin and Zhang Yi – rose to power through cunning rather than virtue.
Mencius, advocating moral governance, condemned such opportunism, insisting that a true scholar would –
Resonance with other Classics
The Book of Rites teaches that “the poor who understand ritual are not intimidated,” affirming dignity through character, not circumstance.
Xunzi, though more pragmatic, also criticized flatterers, noting that “a gentleman can make himself worthy of honor, but cannot force others to honor him.”
Modern Relevance: The Illusion of Success
Today’s culture still celebrates “winners” regardless of means – through manipulation, image-crafting, or exploitation.
Mencius’s warning endures: if your achievements would make your loved ones cry in shame, they are not worth having. True honor lies in integrity that withstands intimate scrutiny.
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