It is necessary to use tactful methods to help a person overcome his faults. If you use a confrontational and clamorous approach, you will be using your own shortcomings to counter his.
It is necessary to employ subtle methods to reform a stubborn person. If you simply get angry and bitter you will simply be using your own stubbornness to counter his.
人之短处，要曲为弥缝，如暴而扬之，是以短攻短；人有顽固，要善为化诲，如忿而疾之，是以顽济顽。
Notes
The art of human connection lies not in fault-finding, but in graceful dissolution. Replace harsh attacks with gentle containment, anger with patient guidance—preserving dignity while cultivating your own character.
When confronting others’ flaws, first examine your response: Does it resolve or escalate? Only elevated perspective dissolves conflict.
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