Wukong, Bajie, and Monk Sha descended from the cloud and entered the Temple of the Three Pures.
A Feast for the Imposters
Without bothering to check whether it was raw or cooked, Bajie grabbed a plate of vegetables and swallowed it in one gulp. The Monkey King then took his iron bar and tried to tap Bajie lightly on the hand. Bajie managed to dodge it just in time and grumbled in protest:
“Why are you hitting me when I haven’t even tasted this yet?”
The Monkey King scolded him:
“You should show a little decorum. Before eating, we must sit down properly.”
Bajie protested:
“Talk about being annoying! You steal all this food and still have the nerve to talk about manners. What would you do if you were just a regular guest?”
Divine Disguises
“The figures sitting over there,” suddenly asked the Monkey King, “who are those bodhisattvas?”
“They’re not bodhisattvas!” exclaimed Bajie. “Can’t you recognize the Three Pures?”
“What three pure ones?” the Monkey King asked again.
The pig explained:
“The one in the middle is the Honored Immortal of Origins; the one on the left is the Lord of Spiritual Treasures; and the one on the right is Laozi.”
The Monkey King advised them:
“I think if we want to eat without being disturbed, the best thing to do is to take their forms and pretend to be them.”
Sacrilegious Shenanigans
The aroma of the offerings was truly intoxicating, and Bajie could wait no longer. With a leap, he jumped onto the altar and shoved Laozi’s statue aside with his snout.
In this way, Bajie became Laozi, while Sun Wukong transformed into the Honored Immortal of Origins, and Sha Wujing became the Lord of Spiritual Treasures.
Their statues lay pitifully scattered on the floor. As soon as he sat down, Bajie began gobbling up the food without restraint.
“Can’t you at least wait a moment?” said the Monkey King.
Bajie complained:
“I don’t understand you at all! Why wait? Didn’t we just become those immortals you were talking about?”
Sun Wukong declared:
“Don’t you realize that these Taoists plan to get up early tomorrow morning to ring the bell and sweep the floors? What will happen when they see these sacred statues lying around? We must hide them somewhere.”
The pig replied:
“Yes, but where? We don’t know this place.”
The Chamber of Five Grains Transmigration
The Monkey King explained:
“When I came in, I happened to notice a small door on the right side. Judging by the stench coming from it, I believe it must be the ‘Chambers for the Transmigration of the Five Grains.’ It wouldn’t be bad to put them in there.”
Bajie was excellent at the dirtiest tasks. Without hesitation, he jumped down, picked up the statues, and carried them out of the hall. He kicked open the door the Monkey King had mentioned and found it was nothing more than a simple latrine.
Bajie muttered to himself, stifling a laugh:
“This Pi-ma-wen (nonsense) fellow sure likes to twist words! Even a toilet gets a religious-sounding name. Imagine calling it the Chambers for the Transmigration of the Five Grains!“
Without any care, he tossed the statues into the latrine.
Then he went back inside and re-entered the hall. Bajie resumed the form of Laozi, and sitting once again on the thrones, the three began to enjoy the delicacies.
Before long, nothing remained at all. However, they didn’t seem discouraged. They calmly sat on the thrones and began chatting, waiting for their meal to digest in the Temple of the Three Pure Ones.
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