Basic Information
Chinese Idiom: 举案齐眉
Pinyin: jǔ àn qí méi
Literal Meaning: Hold the food tray level with one’s eyebrows.
Figurative Meaning: Describe a married couple who treat each other with deep respect and courtesy in daily life.
Cultural Background
This idiom originates from a touching ancient story embodying traditional Chinese marital virtue. In ancient times, wooden trays with legs called àn were used to carry meals. Meng Guang, the wife of the virtuous scholar Liang Hong, held the meal tray up to her eyebrow height when serving food to her husband as a gesture of full reverence. The phrase has become the most classic symbol of harmonious, respectful marriage, highlighting mutual politeness and admiration between husband and wife.
Origin & English Translation
- From Book of the Later Han · Biography of Liang Hong
Liang Hong earned a living by grinding grain for others. Every time he came home, his wife Meng Guang prepared his meals. She dared not look straight up at him, and held the food tray level with her eyebrows while serving. - From The Scholars Chapter 10 by Wu Jingzi of the Qing Dynasty
The next day, Lord Qu went to the main hall to thank his in-laws and attended a banquet. After the feast ended, he returned to the bridal chamber, where another wine table was set. The newlyweds treated each other with the reverence of holding the tray level with the brows.
Key Lesson
True love is built on daily acts of respect, not just grand romantic gestures. The idiom teaches that even in the most ordinary moments – like serving a meal – you can show profound honor to your partner. It also emphasizes that respect must be mutual; one person serving does not make a marriage – both must honor each other equally.
Usage
Commendatory. It exclusively describes harmonious married couples who maintain mutual respect and gentle manners toward one another.
Cultural Note
In ancient China, this story was held up as the gold standard of marital virtue. However, in modern times, some people view the practice as too formal or old‑fashioned. Today, the idiom is often used nostalgically or idealistically to describe couples who have successfully maintained a respectful, peaceful relationship over many years. It is also commonly used in wedding blessings to wish the newlyweds a lifetime of mutual respect.
相敬如宾 (Xiāng jìng rú bīn – “treat each other with the respect of guests”), is a very similar idiom that is more commonly used in modern Chinese to describe the same marital ideal.
Equivalent English expressions
- A couple showing mutual deference
- Mutual respect between husband and wife
Leave a Reply