4.26
Ziyou said, “In the service of one’s prince repeated scolding can only lead to loss of favour; in friendship, it can only lead to estrangement.
子游曰：「事君數，斯辱矣，朋友數，斯疏矣。」
Notes
This passage from the Analects reveals how excessive intervention damages relationships, emphasizing that whether between ruler and subject or friends, interactions require measured distance and respect — centered on the ethic of “appropriate boundaries in engagement.”
Ziyou’s statement, rooted in the Confucian principle of the Golden Mean (“Going too far is as bad as not going far enough”), addresses the common pitfall of “well-intentioned harm” in relationships — where overzealous concern or eagerness to correct others breaches boundaries, ultimately fracturing bonds.
The Master said: “To go too far is the same as to fall short.”(The Analects 11.16)
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