Taoist Priest

Scholar Han, descendant of a well-known aristocratic family, was very fond of guests. A man named Xu in the same village often went to his place to drink.

Once, when Han was giving a banquet, a Taoist priest came to the gate with an alms bowl. The servant of the house gave him some money and rice, but he neither accepted them nor went away. Angry, the servant closed the gate and simply ignored him. Han heard the continuous knocking on the door and asked the servant who it was. The servant proceeded to explain, but before he could finish, the priest had entered the house. Han invited him to have a seat. The priest raised his hands to greet Han and the guests and sat down. Han briefly asked about his background and learned that he was a newcomer who lived in a dilapidated temple at the village’s east end.

“I wasn’t aware of your arrival,” Han said. “I’ve been a very poor host, I’m afraid.” The priest replied, “I’ve only just come from the mountain wilds and have no acquaintances here. I heard that you are fond of having guests and are not miserly with money or things, so I thought I’d come to ask for a little wine.” Han invited him to drink his fill.

The Taoist priest turned out to be a great drinker with a voluminous capacity for liquor. Because his clothes were dirty and worn and he looked rather down on his luck, Xu showed little respect for him, but Han himself treated him like any other guest. The priest gulped down more than twenty cups, then said goodbye and left.

After that, whenever Han gave a dinner, the priest was bound to be there, ready to join in the eating and drinking. His frequent appearances irritated Han.

One day, as they were drinking, Xu said to the priest, “You’re always the guest, ready to eat other people’s food. Why don’t you play the host for once?”

The priest smiled and said,”I’m just like you, nothing more than a mouth held in place by two shoulder blades.”

Feeling rather ashamed, Xu said no more. Then the priest said, “Having said that, I must add that I have had that intention for a long time. I shall throw a reciprocal banquet to show my respect.” When he had done drinking, he announced, “You are cordially invited to come to my place tomorrow at noon.”

The next day, Han and Xu set off together, though they seriously doubted the priest could really throw a feast. While still on the road, they met the priest who had come to meet them. Talking as they walked along, the three soon arrived at the temple gate.

Entering, they found to their great surprise, the courtyard totally transformed. Many tall buildings had been added. Amazed, Han and Xu asked, “It’s been a long time since we were last here. When were these buildings added?” “The work was finished not long ago,” the priest replied.

And when they entered the hall, they found the furnishing so extravagant that they were certain no aristocratic family possessed anything like them. Immediately, the two were filled with awe. When they had taken their seats, smart young boys of sixteen or seventeen, dressed in brocade and red shoes, served them wine and brought in food. The meal was as rich as could be, with fragrant wine and delicious dishes. It was followed by fruits and delicacies. The exotic fruits, whose name they did not even know, were served in containers of crystal or jade, so radiant that they illumined the table and chairs. The wine was contained in cups of colored glaze that measured about a foot at the rim.

Finally, the priest said, “Go and call the Shi Sisters to come here!”

Before long, two lovely maidens made their entrance, one tall and slender like the waving willow, and the other slightly shorter and obviously still a youngster. Both were extremely charming. At the priest’s order, they began to sing. As the wine was served, the younger one beat the rhythm and sang while the elder one accompanied her on the xiao flute. Their singing and the music sounded delicate and pure. At the end of each song, the priest would toast his guests, and the boys would refill the cups.

The priest then turned around and said to the girls, “You haven’t danced for a long time, can you still do it?” Servants rolled out a carpet on the floor in front of the table and the two maidens danced, their long skirts swirling and their fragrance permeating the room. When they had finished dancing, the maidens leaned against the painted screen to rest.

By now, Han and Xu were absolutely intoxicated, their heads whirling around. Ignoring them, the Taoist priest finished off his cup, rose and said to the two men, “Now, you help yourselves to more wine while I have a short rest.” And then he went out.

In the south wing, by the wall, stood a big bed decorated with inlaid seashells. The two maidens put a brocade mattress on it and helped the priest to lie down. The priest pulled the elder of the two down onto the bed to sleep with him and told the younger one to stand by the bed to scratch him when he itched.

Han and Xu were quite upset by the sight of this. Xu yelled out, “Priest! Behave yourself!” Over he went to interfere, but the priest rolled out of bed and ran away. Seeing that the younger girl was still standing near the bed, Xu, besotted as he was, dragged her to another bed and blatantly lay down with her in his arms. He then noticed that the elder girl was sleeping on the brocade mattress, so he turned to Han and said, “Aren’t you being too pedantic?” Thereupon, Han went straight to the bed and tried to make love with the maiden. The girl was sound asleep, though, and no matter how he pushed, he couldn’t wake her. So he too went to sleep with his arms around the girl.

When dawn came and Han was sober again, he felt something very cold against his chest. He looked down and saw that he was lying at the bottom of a flight of stone steps, his arms embracing a long slab of stone. He quickly looked at Xu, who had still not wakened, and found that he was sleeping in a shabby outdoor latrine, his head resting on a rock covered with feces. Han kicked him. Awake, he picked himself up and the two were dumbfounded. When they looked around, there was nothing in the whole courtyard but wild grass and two shabby huts.