When censuring someone for his faults , do not be too severe; consider the other’s level of tolerance.
When teaching a man correct conduct, do not set goals which are too lofty for him to reach; consider what he is capable of accomplishing.
攻人之恶毋太严，要思其堪受；教人之善毋太高，当使其可从。
Notes
The essence of criticizing faults lies in helping, not venting anger. Criticism should aim for improvement, not self-righteousness. Overly severe reproach wounds dignity and triggers resistance—true efficacy requires delivering goodwill in digestible doses, much like a physician adjusting medicine to avoid harm.
The core of teaching virtue is guidance, not pressure. Inspire intrinsic motivation by breaking virtue into achievable steps. Demanding saintly perfection breeds despair; charting incremental progress, like ascending a mountain gradually, fuels growth through small victories.
Moderation anchors all human interaction. This “golden mean” reflects deep understanding of human nature: all err, all grow stepwise. Excessive rigor shatters trust; impossible standards kill motivation. Only appropriateness transforms goodwill into impact.
Fundamentally, this passage from Tending the roots of wisdom (Cai Gen Tan) reminds us: all words and deeds toward others must root in benevolent intent and practical efficacy. With moderation as our compass and empathy as our bridge, criticism becomes empowerment, and moral guidance becomes possible.
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