Resentment is aroused when a man fails to receive rewards for a favour he has done others. So, instead of expecting rewards, he should forget about them, and therefore his resentment as well.
Hatred is aroused when a man fails to see gratitude that he thinks others owe him. So, instead of thinking about it, he should destroy the seeds of hatred along with expectations of gratitude.
怨因德彰，故使人德我，不若德怨之两忘；仇因恩立，故使人如恩，不若恩仇之俱泯。
Notes
- The paradox: Conspicuous virtue breeds resentment — overemphasizing “good deeds” disrupts relational balance, sparking opposition.
- The reversal: Enforced obligation breeds enmity — when kindness becomes a chain, it poisons into hatred.
The brilliance lies in shattering worldly logic (“deeds demand repayment”, “virtue seeks fame”), revealing that relationships thrive on natural equilibrium.
Liberating Non-Duality
The detachment from gratitude and grievance and dissolving favor and feud embody non-dual awareness:
- Do good as duty — without pride;
- Offer grace as spontaneity — without claim.
This dissolves transactional calculation, restoring relationships to authentic freedom.
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