An old woman was friendly with her neighbor, a young wife, whose mother-in-law suspected her of stealing some meat and wanted to drive her away.
In despair she went to complain to the old woman.
”Where can you go?” demanded her old neighbour. ”I shall get your mother-in-law to call you back.”
Then she took a bundle of straw to the house where the mother-in-law lived.
“My dogs are fighting over some stolen meat,” she said. “So I want to light a fire to stop them.”
As soon as the mother-in-law heard that, she urged someone to recall her daughter-in-law.
Allegorical Meaning
This parable from Han Shi Wai Zhuan illustrates conflict resolution through indirect mediation and wisdom. This old woman was not gifted with eloquence, and taking a bundle of straw to ask for a light is not the usual means of effecting a reconciliation; but when you do the right thing you achieve results.
Strategic Diplomacy:
The wise neighbor (the old woman) avoids confronting the mother-in-law’s accusation directly. Instead, she fabricates a story about “dogs fighting over stolen meat” to indirectly reveal the truth, meanwhile preserves the mother-in-law’s dignity — showcasing how face-saving narratives preserve relationships.
Social Harmony Over Truth:
Unlike traditional “justice” tales prioritizing facts, this story values restoring harmony above proving innocence. The neighbor’s invented pretext creates psychological space for self-reflection and allows the mother-in-law to reverse her decision without losing face.
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